2 weeks ago today, Iris was blessed. I don't remember much about the blessing. It was a lot of the usual, wonderful stuff. But the one thing that I remember was that it said she would bring joy to others through her presence. It seems like this already happens all the time. Everywhere I go, people just see her and smile. A lot of that is her insanely spiky hair and rolls of chub. But, there is something very joyful about her presence.
My life is now a chaotic mess. I really think my mind is going. At Henry's last football game, I didn't recognize a mom that I had talked to for about 30 minutes 3 weeks before. I felt like such a moron. I mix up dates and forget when I tell people I'll do things. I can't remember anyone's name anymore, and it seems like the days are much too short with so much remaining undone. I swear I used to be smart; I used to think about things deeply and have a really good memory and enjoy pondering things of eternal consequence. Now I just crave mind-numbing TV and sleep.
More frequently, I need to take a deep breath, ignore the mess in my house, and enjoy my blessings. Really. Things are very, very good. Maybe all I need is an hour more sleep a night and a good planner and then I'll feel in control. Or not. Maybe the point is realizing that I'm not in control. But, if it weren't for me, car doors would not ever be shut, teeth would never get brushed, homework would never be signed off, shoes would never be put away.
I have 4 great kids who try hard to be good. I have a good husband. I have everything I need, and a lot of things I want. I have so many blessings. I guess I'm just starting to realize that blessings are responsibilities, like the parable of the talents. I've been given so much and that means I have so much to do. So for now, I think I have enough blessings. I just need to relax and enjoy them while I can.
